Why do we value things more in their absence?

 

 

 

 

Introduction:

No matter how old a man grows, he remains a kid for his parents, and whenever a person mentions his parents, his emotions are visible.

You must have seen posts on social media like Facebook about a person missing his mom or dad. In this blog, we will briefly find factors leading to this phenomenon. The peculiarity of valuing things more in their absence can be attributed to several psychological and emotional factors. Understanding these psychological factors can provide insights into why we often find ourselves appreciating things more when they are no longer present in our lives. The subject is lengthy and viewers can give their viewpoint for the benefit of others which can be discussed in subsequent blogs.

1. Scarcity and Rarity:

Items or experiences that are rare tend to be perceived as more valuable. When something is not readily available, it becomes more desirable because of the perception that it is special or unique. When we are hungry, we will search for the food around and whatever is available we will try to consume the same and we will never think of the taste. When we are thirsty, and no water is available around only we will understand how important water to us is. You must have experienced this while traveling.

 

2. Psychological Reactance:

Human beings often react strongly when they perceive a loss of freedom or options. When something is taken away or becomes less accessible, individuals may feel a psychological reactance that makes them desire the restricted item or experience even more.

 

3. Nostalgia:

 Absence often triggers nostalgic feelings. We tend to romanticize and idealize things that are no longer present, associating them with positive memories and emotions. This nostalgia can enhance the perceived value of those things. Even in a foreign country, one can imagine his home and street and childhood friends.

 

4. Anticipation and Desire:

The anticipation of a future reunion with something or someone can intensify desire. The idea that we will regain access to something in the future can make us value it more in the present absence.

 

5. Comparative Evaluation:

When something is absent, we might compare it to the available alternatives. If the absent item or experience stands out as superior in our minds, its value increases. The grass is often perceived as greener on the other side.

 

6. Emotional Connection:

Emotional attachment plays a significant role in the value we assign to things. When separated from something we have a strong emotional connection to, the absence can amplify the emotional significance, making us value it more.

 

7. Taking Things for Granted:

When we have constant access to something, we may take it for granted. It's only when that thing is absent that we realize its true importance and value. We should understand the sound of silence.

(AI-generated image)

8. Parents and Children:

The mind can make better images than physically seen, and in case of a person or location when they are in front there can be some opposing remarks by persons, or even if you are at the beautiful Hill site there can be heavy rain or blizzard, and other senses can have opposite feelings, in case of absence its only mind’s imagination.

Even in the case of the presence of parents there can be instructions, demands or requirements which are not under your control, and you feel bad about it, but in case of their absence, you feel sad while thinking about their requirements. For example when your father was alive and your family required 100 dollars and these couldn't be managed, however after 10 or 20 years of the death of your father and you have a sufficient amount and Property, you will miss your father. Your happiness will be empty and from the inner side, you will be feeling deprived. But such things are beyond one's control. However, these effect our behavior, emotions, and feelings.

Similarly, when your parents are alive and you travel on public transport in a rush and had a tough day, and after 10 or 20 years you have your car, you will miss those days and wish that you could travel with your parents in a luxurious car.

In the case of kids, they might have demanded to visit a recreational place/outing or to buy a certain toy or mobile and you could not afford it due to money or job commitments, you will feel sad when you have sufficient time and amount and kids will be away.

 

 9. Empathy Factor:

Empathy is one characteristic of emotional intelligence and describes whether people can embrace the feelings of others. Empathy is therefore the basis to act and react in a certain situation. The more empathetic we are, the better the communication and the coexistence of people. Nature offers ups and downs - from giving birth to a child up to losing someone you cared about, life could not be named as it is without these circumstances. Time heals everything. We feel more intensified by the animated graph of a patient's respiration apparatus in the Hospital’s ICU.

 

Conclusion:
 

When the people are near to us we are not able to understand that they mean something to us, but when they leave us we feel something missing. We even remember their way of talking and the items used by them. We read their letters and see their documents. We do not realize the value of things once they are at our disposal but when they are away or out of reach. The examples of water and food after a meal can make it clear. We must give people true values in their presence to make this planet a better living place.